Around the World in Thirty Days

I realize there are climate-change deniers, evolution deniers,and  birthers, but I doubt there are too many flat-earthers.   Undaunted I decided to check out the theory by circumnavigating the globe in thirty days.   As you will see this was a very bad idea.

It happened on my second annual visit to South Asia, as Country Affairs Officer.  I flew first to Pakistan, where I went to four cities where the US Information Agency had posts: Islamabad, Peshawar, Lahore, and Karachi.  I learned at a Peshawar diplomatic reception that cabinet ministers, when asked by the bartender what they would like to drink, would reply "oh, something refreshing," meaning something alcoholic.   In Lahore, at a minister's house, the host got out scotch, vodka, gin and the like.  All this in an officially teetotaling country.

I next went to Katmandu in Nepal, where, contrary to what you would expect, the city was shrouded with smog (thanks to the profession of motorized and poorly maintained rickshaws spewing exhaust) and most people went around nursing respiratory infections.  The Public Affairs Officer took me on a long drive into the countryside so that I could actually see the Himalayas.   Then on to Dhaka, where business men walked around the city in boots because of the mud and flooding.

Here's where it got interesting.  I theorized that if I was in Dhaka, it made no difference whether I went east or west on my way home. ,   Why not go east, visit Hawaii for a couple of days and then on home?  To justify my visit to Hawaii, I arranged for consultations at the East-West Institute, a cooperative academic venture.

My first stop was Bangkok, where I visited a friend who was Public Affairs Officer.  I had dinner at his house and asked to go to the airport hotel where I had a room.  My friend said there was no point in going until later at night because the traffic gridlock was overwhelming.   So we walked around visiting functioning crematoriums and I didn't get to me room until midnight.

Boarding for my plane was 2 p.m. giving me a mere two hours sleep before setting off on my foolhardy adventure.  We flew several hours to Narita Airport, outside Tokyo, where I had a seven hour layover.    The plastic seats were scientifically designed to prevent rest and the international boarding area was devoid of distractions.

Finally, still with only two hours' sleep,  I took off for Hawaii.   On the way, we crossed the international date line, putting the finishing touches on my disorientation and exhaustion.   Was it Tuesday or Wednesday, morning or evening?   I had no idea.   When we arrived in Honolulu,  I checked into my hotel headed for the bed, but no.   Mt hosts informed me that they had scheduled wall-to-wall appointments at the East-West Institute.   So I sat through scholarly discussions of oil pipelines through South Asia and similarly soporific topics.

I actually wandered off to Waikiki Beach where I utterly failed to appreciate its beauty.  Ultimately I was off to Detroit and finally back to Washington, arriving in total exhaustion.  The smart thing to do would have been to accept that the earth is spherical.   There's no need, believe me, actually to check it out.